I was sitting here, enjoying my procrastination in getting to the office when it dawned on me that this whole experience needs the form of a mission. Or experiment. Or whatever. Shut up.
My goal is to lose weight effectively. "Wow! How revolutionary!" you are no doubt thinking by now, and I don't blame you. I'm a fucking genius. But here's the catch. I'm not going to be any more active than I already am. That's right. I'm not doing any more movement than is already part of my fairly lazy existence. (To be fair, I like to hike, but I only will be doing it 1-2 times a week)
I'm going to eat myself thin. It will work. The science of adiposity shows that exercise isn't a component in the regulation of fat. You're thinking "WHAT?!", and you're right to think that. But that's because you don't like science, and that makes me sad. But it is true. Read a book about it. Actually, don't. I just told you, and if you can't trust me, I don't see the point of continuing this charade. Fact is, fat is regulated by insulin. Insulin is regulated by DIET.
Annnyhoo, I know I said I wasn't going to show the details of my diet. The more I think about it, the more I realize it's because there really is no diet. It's just staying away from things that raise insulin. You can put 2 and 2 together and figure out what that means, smart guy(girl). And no, it's not Atkins.
Also, I don't want to talk about how I'm doing it because I'm not going to promote my lifestyle. Being active probably has benefits, but modern medicine is so goddamn split about what is good for what that I'd rather just be as active as necessary to not die of a blood clot.
I know, I know. You're rolling your eyes at me. I can FEEL it. But you just keep that shit to yourself and be mindblown when I walk in looking all strapping and swarthy.
Thanks for reading this far. I think the circle of trust is growing stronger.
I wish I could eat myself tall.
ReplyDeleteYou may not need to exercise in order to lose weight but there are some good reasons to do so.
ReplyDeleteWell, there is a lot of research out there that states a moderate amount of activity, like daily walking is good for the heart and lungs. The thing is that beyond that there's actually not a lot of solid research that proves anything positive about strenuous exercise. In fact, there's a growing amount of research that has shown that any regular exercise more high-impact than walking briskly actually deteriorates bone structure and causes long-term physical harm. My mother's years of hard running bore its ugly teeth in the last decade, that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteBut yes, moderate exercise is perfectly healthy for respiration and comes recommended by even the most skeptical scientists.
Though I am a self-professed "lazy guy", I do get out for a couple hikes a week and make it a point to work stairs and long walks through parking lots into my daily routine.
So, I suppose what I'm getting at is that running your ass off isn't necessarily "good exercise". It's something that's not worth beating one's body up for the goal of weight loss. If you just enjoy it, of course that's a different story ;)
ReplyDeleteOh, another thing that research has shown: People who try to exercise for weight loss tend to gain weight if the diet is not modified because exertion increases appetite.