Sorry about skipping the blog yesterday, this week is hectic already and it's only Tuesday. Fortunately I am a master of multitasking and managed to fit this in while I do some final touches on a document that will enable illegal immigrants to take money from rich white people. It's what us college liberal-types do.
Back to the blog. Things are going extremely well and I'm feeling damn good. I've been right on track and I can certainly feel results.
I find myself wondering, though: When I get down to target weight, am I going to look like David Beckham or will I look like a normal guy wearing a fat guy's skin as a suit? I'm not belly-over-the-belt fat, but fat enough to be concerned. Well, vain enough, at least.
Enough with that line of thinking. I'll think of something funny to say later.
Cheers!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Drum roll please...
Well well well... It has been a good week of both weight-related and life-related progress, and I'm glad to say the results are more than satisfactory in all areas.
Though this life-relat
ed progress in the form of home buying brings a level of stress, I've managed to make stress my bitch and keep my resolve. This "diet" is extremely easy to stick with (thank Odin I don't have a sweet tooth) so I really can't say it's been a rough road. But that's a good thing. I hate how fucking hard it is to restrain one's self and anything that doesn't require a large amount of work or major lifestyle change is perfect for me. With that said, let's talk results. As you can see in the above image, I started the week at 271.6 - a formidable weight for a linebacker or MMA fighter, but not so much for a lazy asshole like myself. Most of this weight was actually in the form of my ego, though. Of course my ego is in my stomach, so there is a tangible element to it.
So, with a week of mainly watching carbs and sugars and absolutely no adjustment to caloric intake other than making sure I hit 2000-2500 (ish - I don't count) despite the carbs, I've lost some decent weight.
Drum roll please....
Seeya in the funny papers!
So there you have it - 263.4 lbs, a total loss of 8.2 lbs. I couldn't have done it without you. No, I take that back, there have been a lot of naysayers. I could have definitely done it without you.
But back to the point. That's more than a pound a day. I'm telling you, science is a much better thing to base losing weight on than what "experts" who have five years experience as a clerk at GNC or 24-Hour Fitness say. Really. Biology, motherfucker.
My goal is to get around my brother's weight, which is probably another 30lbs from here, but my estimations have me there in probably four months. Weight loss usually slows as you get closer to normal weight. Whatever 'normal' is.
But back to the point. That's more than a pound a day. I'm telling you, science is a much better thing to base losing weight on than what "experts" who have five years experience as a clerk at GNC or 24-Hour Fitness say. Really. Biology, motherfucker.
My goal is to get around my brother's weight, which is probably another 30lbs from here, but my estimations have me there in probably four months. Weight loss usually slows as you get closer to normal weight. Whatever 'normal' is.
Lastly, before any of you start giving me lectures like "oh, you'd lose weight faster if you did ___", let it go. I'm losing weight without effort, and that's way better than busting my ass and eventually de-motivating myself and getting fat again. Also, I'll follow this up with an explanation as to why too much exercise causes weight gain.
Seeya in the funny papers!
Saturday, August 27, 2011
I'm still awake so it's still legally Saturday.
Wow, today was a hell of a day. We spent the better part of our Saturday finalizing some details for the building of our new home. Mostly deciding if we want the bells and whistles. We skipped the whistles, for the record, but got the bells in the form of brushed nickel light fixtures and granite countertops. Booya. Tomorrow we actually cut the check for the lot itself and we'll be breaking ground in the coming weeks. I shall henceforth be referred to as a "wealthy landowner" until the manor is completed. And on that day, I will be known as Sir Dr. Gaylord Sexton Longfellow III, Esq DDS. It's a mouthful but it's fucking classy and with a house like this, class is what I aim for.
Oh yeah, my weight loss.
Oh yeah, my weight loss.
I'm really looking forward to weighing in tomorrow. I know I've been losing steadily and am stoked to blow your minds with my abilities to eat differently and drop some el-bee's. I've honestly got little more to say at this point because A) you're tired of it and B) I'm tired of it. Just kidding.
I'm sorry Miss Jackson;
I'm sorry Miss Jackson;
Pascual H. Romero, Esq.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Oh yeah. The part where I talk about my progress
As of day five, I can say with certainty that I've lost a pretty nice little chunk of weight, but I'll save the real results for Sunday because I plan on doing official weigh-ins only once a week. I don't want to blow your freaking mind every single day. I'm taking in an average amount of calories and still being fairly liberal about my activity. Just enough to keep the blood flowing, not going for that target-heart-rate stuff that trainers always talk about. I'm doing exactly what I've always done. Long walks across parking lots and taking the stairs, with the occasional low-impact hike. I have to stress that I am not following any kind of activity regimen and some days I'm just a lazy asshole.
As many of my regular readers may have noticed by now, I've made some small mentions of carbohydrates. The science behind insulin, blood-sugar, and carbohydrates is nothing new. In fact, Dr. John Rollo made these findings in 1797 while treating diabetics. This became the standard and notably remains utilized to this day (with many advancements, of course). What occurred when the carbohydrates were removed from the diet is the lowering of insulin levels and entering a state of 'ketosis' - a state where compounds are produced by the breakdown of fatty acids.
Bear with me here, I'll try to keep this as understandable as humanly possible.
When the liver is not processing glucose (a sugar that all carbohydrates are converted to in the body), it sends the message to your body to start breaking down triglycerides (the things that fill up your fat cells and make them big and flabby). The liver and kidneys then take these fatty acids and process them. Ketone bodies are the byproduct of this and they're sent to the heart and brain to keep you alive. Now, if you operate under the consideration that the way your body breaks down fat cells efficiently is by using them to power the heart and brain, you may notice that what a lot of 'experts' say on the topic may be not only off-base, but flat-out wrong.
This doesn't meant that there isn't merit to exercise. There's been plenty of support for the idea that moderate, low impact exercise is good for the heart and lungs (as high impact workouts have shown to cause some long-term physical harm that would make it at least discouraged for the sake of your bones). But what I'm getting at here is that the calories in/calories out model is outdated and needs a lot of refinement before it's properly applied to the paradigm of weight loss.
Of course this long winded and wordy post is entirely up to debate, but I've got a lot of scientific study behind my set of rules whereas the average 'diet expert' hardly has the background in biochemistry and biology that led to these findings.
I promise the next one will be funny. Probably. Or not.
As many of my regular readers may have noticed by now, I've made some small mentions of carbohydrates. The science behind insulin, blood-sugar, and carbohydrates is nothing new. In fact, Dr. John Rollo made these findings in 1797 while treating diabetics. This became the standard and notably remains utilized to this day (with many advancements, of course). What occurred when the carbohydrates were removed from the diet is the lowering of insulin levels and entering a state of 'ketosis' - a state where compounds are produced by the breakdown of fatty acids.
Bear with me here, I'll try to keep this as understandable as humanly possible.
When the liver is not processing glucose (a sugar that all carbohydrates are converted to in the body), it sends the message to your body to start breaking down triglycerides (the things that fill up your fat cells and make them big and flabby). The liver and kidneys then take these fatty acids and process them. Ketone bodies are the byproduct of this and they're sent to the heart and brain to keep you alive. Now, if you operate under the consideration that the way your body breaks down fat cells efficiently is by using them to power the heart and brain, you may notice that what a lot of 'experts' say on the topic may be not only off-base, but flat-out wrong.
This doesn't meant that there isn't merit to exercise. There's been plenty of support for the idea that moderate, low impact exercise is good for the heart and lungs (as high impact workouts have shown to cause some long-term physical harm that would make it at least discouraged for the sake of your bones). But what I'm getting at here is that the calories in/calories out model is outdated and needs a lot of refinement before it's properly applied to the paradigm of weight loss.
Of course this long winded and wordy post is entirely up to debate, but I've got a lot of scientific study behind my set of rules whereas the average 'diet expert' hardly has the background in biochemistry and biology that led to these findings.
I promise the next one will be funny. Probably. Or not.
Bill, Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K
What is in the air today? Comments have turned hostile in a discussion over a status I posted regarding my run-in with the buff guy, aka Le Douche-e-Buffo™. For the most part, the central conversation is very civil and actually rather constructive, including a pretty good discussion about whether my response was as much an ad hominem attack as his (and yeah, it was, but that's because I have the power to turn ad hominem into fact).
The part that gets me is there's this weird offshoot in the comments that happened when a very old friend of mine mentioned a story about being unfriended (or is it defriended?) over a comment about a pair of shoes being 'ugly'. Oh no you di'int!
Essentially, another friend of mine attacked her for being 'hateful' because of that comment on the shoes. Then yet another friend came to the defense of my first friend. These three are all real-life friends of mine whose friendships I do value, so it certainly put me in what rocket scientists like to call a real shit-pickle. On one hand, I'm running with the idea that it's silly to take such offense at a comment about a pair of shoes being 'ugly'; on the other hand, as much as I feel the urge to rush to the defense of my first friend, I'd hate to do so by alienating my second friend who I've never really had any real disagreements with. And on the third hand, my friend is pretty tasteful, so they must have some ugly fucking shoes.
It kind of brings me to that idea of personal taste. Is it wrong for us to say what we think just because someone put a lot of time and effort into something? I'd like to think not. (Well, in the case of my blog it is totally wrong for you to criticize me but that's different.) But we're talking about aesthetic here. I mean, lots of people put an incredible amount of time and creative effort into Ke$ha's last album but it doesn't bar me from saying that it's literally an abomination put upon this earth as punishment for our shallow callousness. It doesn't bar me from saying that I don't even like pronouncing her name because a dollar sign isn't a letter. It doesn't bar me from saying that she's probably the most talentless hack I've ever seen in my life and I fear for the future of mankind if this is what we call entertainment. I am allowed to say this because it's what I think. And it's true. But mainly because it's what I think.
Where does that put us? Shoes can be ugly. Someone designed every pair of shoes on this planet, so that's automatically bringing someone's hard work into question (and the possibility of that 'someone' being a small Sri Lankan child - but I'm not sure they'd read my blog anyway since they don't get a lot of free time). In the end, it's important that people say what they think because if they don't, we just become a bunch of homogenized assholes who don't challenge viewpoints.
Unless it's about my blog. Shut up.
It kind of brings me to that idea of personal taste. Is it wrong for us to say what we think just because someone put a lot of time and effort into something? I'd like to think not. (Well, in the case of my blog it is totally wrong for you to criticize me but that's different.) But we're talking about aesthetic here. I mean, lots of people put an incredible amount of time and creative effort into Ke$ha's last album but it doesn't bar me from saying that it's literally an abomination put upon this earth as punishment for our shallow callousness. It doesn't bar me from saying that I don't even like pronouncing her name because a dollar sign isn't a letter. It doesn't bar me from saying that she's probably the most talentless hack I've ever seen in my life and I fear for the future of mankind if this is what we call entertainment. I am allowed to say this because it's what I think. And it's true. But mainly because it's what I think.
Where does that put us? Shoes can be ugly. Someone designed every pair of shoes on this planet, so that's automatically bringing someone's hard work into question (and the possibility of that 'someone' being a small Sri Lankan child - but I'm not sure they'd read my blog anyway since they don't get a lot of free time). In the end, it's important that people say what they think because if they don't, we just become a bunch of homogenized assholes who don't challenge viewpoints.
Unless it's about my blog. Shut up.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Muscle Dudes with Attitudes
So a friend of mine (by 'friend' I mean 'person on Facebook of negligible real-life context') decides to go on a rant this evening about how he hates "dykes" and essentially that he finds it ridiculous that a woman who "hates men" would want to look like one.
"But Pascual, what the hell does this have to do with your fat odyssey?" you're probably asking. Well the answer to that is, first, shut up; and second, he's the most swollen, thick-necked bodybuilder I've ever come to know. I mean this guy is competition-level buff (and I don't mean bodybuilding competition, I mean douchebag competition) - I've never known someone quite so built. This guy spends an average day on Facebook posting pictures of himself flexing in mirrors, updating his status about how much he "tore it up" in the gym, and bitching about fat and lazy people.
Now you may be thinking "Why did it take you this long to take offense at him?"
Well the fact is I can sort of understand hating on fat folks when you have that lifestyle. One cannot possibly punish themselves to that extent without a fair dose of flab-related anger. It's the same reason I don't feel inclined to hate prison inmates for tattooing their faces. Well, not really, but just nod and smile. My point is, inside every obsessive weightlifter is a child terrified of being picked on for being fat. If anything, I applaud the heavyset folks who just sucked it up and owned it as an adult instead of freaking out about it and becoming a freak on the opposite end of the spectrum.
Regardless, here's the transcript of our pleasant exchange (I omitted others' comments for the sake of not making you want to stab your eyes out):
(his status) - "What is it with Seattle and the fuckin dykes? Ok so youre a chick and you want a chick. But why the short hair and shit? So you hate men but want one that looks and acts like one?? Fuckin imbeciles"
(me) - "What is it with dudes who get all buff for no reason? Ok so you want to look all yoked to get chicks. But why the huge muscles and shit? So you hate girly men but you want a girl who looks and acts like one? Yada yada"
(him) - " Pascual, get fucked. If you dont agree with what i say, ignore it or dont comment. If i vant state my opinion here where can i? Faggot."
My response in the end was that I figured since he broadcast it on his Facebook status, he would have expected some kind of negative response. I mean that's a pretty strong thing to say to be surprised that someone disagreed. OK, I admit I could have been a bit more diplomatic. The thing is, when I see something like that, I can hardly expect that the person is capable of having a serious conversation about the ramifications of their comments. Sometimes I'm just inclined to pull out the big guns. No pun intended. Wait, pun very intended. Because I'm clever as shit. If I get you to call me "faggot", I win. Forever.
That's my story for tonight. No real moral to it other than "If you act like an asshole, Pascual will probably flip it on you".
"But Pascual, what the hell does this have to do with your fat odyssey?" you're probably asking. Well the answer to that is, first, shut up; and second, he's the most swollen, thick-necked bodybuilder I've ever come to know. I mean this guy is competition-level buff (and I don't mean bodybuilding competition, I mean douchebag competition) - I've never known someone quite so built. This guy spends an average day on Facebook posting pictures of himself flexing in mirrors, updating his status about how much he "tore it up" in the gym, and bitching about fat and lazy people.
Now you may be thinking "Why did it take you this long to take offense at him?"
Well the fact is I can sort of understand hating on fat folks when you have that lifestyle. One cannot possibly punish themselves to that extent without a fair dose of flab-related anger. It's the same reason I don't feel inclined to hate prison inmates for tattooing their faces. Well, not really, but just nod and smile. My point is, inside every obsessive weightlifter is a child terrified of being picked on for being fat. If anything, I applaud the heavyset folks who just sucked it up and owned it as an adult instead of freaking out about it and becoming a freak on the opposite end of the spectrum.
Regardless, here's the transcript of our pleasant exchange (I omitted others' comments for the sake of not making you want to stab your eyes out):
(his status) - "What is it with Seattle and the fuckin dykes? Ok so youre a chick and you want a chick. But why the short hair and shit? So you hate men but want one that looks and acts like one?? Fuckin imbeciles"
(me) - "What is it with dudes who get all buff for no reason? Ok so you want to look all yoked to get chicks. But why the huge muscles and shit? So you hate girly men but you want a girl who looks and acts like one? Yada yada"
(him) - " Pascual, get fucked. If you dont agree with what i say, ignore it or dont comment. If i vant state my opinion here where can i? Faggot."
My response in the end was that I figured since he broadcast it on his Facebook status, he would have expected some kind of negative response. I mean that's a pretty strong thing to say to be surprised that someone disagreed. OK, I admit I could have been a bit more diplomatic. The thing is, when I see something like that, I can hardly expect that the person is capable of having a serious conversation about the ramifications of their comments. Sometimes I'm just inclined to pull out the big guns. No pun intended. Wait, pun very intended. Because I'm clever as shit. If I get you to call me "faggot", I win. Forever.
That's my story for tonight. No real moral to it other than "If you act like an asshole, Pascual will probably flip it on you".
My Body is a Machine That Turns Excellence Into Badass-ness
Today marks the first day of talks with various entities that would be potentially giving us money to buy our home and boy is it exciting! It's quite the process these days and with the housing and lender climate we live in today, they are freakishly thorough. I can't wait for this stuff to be over.
Turns out my years of playing rock star and Hollywood mover and shaker have done nothing but complicate what normal people call work history. People act like you're supposed to have one employer your entire life. I scoff at the idea, ol' chap!
Anyway, back to the adventures of the fat guy. Day 5 is upon us and I'm feeling excellent about my progress. I've definitely lost several pounds and I'm not feeling hungry. I've got a lot of energy, though, which is really impeding my ability to be a lazy fucker. I guess that's the price one pays when one's intake of excellence is out of balance with the output of badass-ness. I'll get the balance right soon. Oh, and badass-ness is a word. Fuck you spellchecker.
Well, I'm going to get back to my amazing job of giving rich people's money to illegal immigrants and welfare cheats. Talk at ya soon, kiddos!
Turns out my years of playing rock star and Hollywood mover and shaker have done nothing but complicate what normal people call work history. People act like you're supposed to have one employer your entire life. I scoff at the idea, ol' chap!
Anyway, back to the adventures of the fat guy. Day 5 is upon us and I'm feeling excellent about my progress. I've definitely lost several pounds and I'm not feeling hungry. I've got a lot of energy, though, which is really impeding my ability to be a lazy fucker. I guess that's the price one pays when one's intake of excellence is out of balance with the output of badass-ness. I'll get the balance right soon. Oh, and badass-ness is a word. Fuck you spellchecker.
Well, I'm going to get back to my amazing job of giving rich people's money to illegal immigrants and welfare cheats. Talk at ya soon, kiddos!
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